John Key The Marxist? - Radio Live Column

Rt Hon Winston Peters
Author: 
Rt Hon Winston Peters
Date: 
Thursday, November 8, 2012 - 11:45

It has been obvious for years but the latest antics from Prime Minister John Key have confirmed it – he is a bumbling Marxist.

We aren’t suggesting Mr Key is following the doctrine of revolutionary socialist Karl Marx, rather that he is the Parliamentary Prince of inappropriate quips in a bizarre attempt to upstage the late, great comedian Groucho Marx.

While Groucho wowed the world with his comedic instincts and timing as part of the Marx Brothers, Mr Key is a Prime Minister who has a preference for cracking inappropriate jokes and staging stupid stunts instead of dealing with serious issues facing the country.

Mr Key’s loose-lipped comments in calling footballing superstar David Beckham ‘thick’ as an animal’s excrement, and telling the radio listening world that a DJ’s red shirt was ‘gay’ are his latest examples in a series of clangers.

One media commentator said these verbal blunders were a case of ‘dumb and dumber’ – a reference to the film of the same name in which two imbeciles get up to all sorts of idiotic capers.

It is OK for the likes of Dumb and Dumber stars Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, and indeed for Groucho Marx, to play the fool on the silver screen. But it’s not appropriate for the Prime Minister of New Zealand who is essentially urging National’s MPs to join him as his bumbling Keystone Cops.

There are one or two Government Ministers who look like they are chewing bees whenever Mr Key tries his stand-up comedy routine during Question Time in Parliament. They know it’s wrong, and so does New Zealand First.

One instance came in Parliament when the Prime Minister’s vision for New Zealand was christened ‘Planet Key’. His misguided utopian view of Planet Key was that we would all be lazing around, playing golf, in a world where the need for toilets was redundant. This comedic ‘gold’ gets no Marx out of 10.

Cast your mind back to the hype preceding the Rugby World Cup when Mr Key donned an official tournament shirt and minced down the catwalk during a staged media event. He later admitted it was a ‘stupid’ thing to do. We won’t argue with him.

Then there was a radio interview when Mr Key described various actresses as “hot”, “pretty hot”, and “not too bad”. The comments were criticised as being “boorish” and “unbecoming of a Prime Minister”.

The really frightening aspect to all this is that Mr Key’s predilection for Groucho Marxism is growing as he runs for cover over his incompetent handling of issues such as the economy, unemployment, a crisis in manufacturing, and the Dotcom illegal spying fiasco.

He should remember that his job is not that of a late night television talk show host.

However, that would be an ideal place for him as all TVs have an off button.